THE ORIGIN OF ME

THE ORIGIN OF ME
(AS TOLD TO MY GRANDKIDS)

Once upon a time, a long time ago
At least the scientists tell me so
Before the dinosaurs, don't you know
The Earth cooled and began to grow
Plants and trees and bugs and snakes
It even grew birds for goodness sakes  
There was a rain storm to fill the sea
Lightning struck a prehistoric tree
And that was the very beginning of me
The sap from the tree ran under a rock
Into the mud, still boiling with shock
As the sap cooled it turned into ooze
Just like a jellyfish drunk on booze
Now all of this took many, many years
Eventually the ooze grew eyes and ears
Nose and mouth,a pair of arms and legs
So I could climb up out of the dregs
A few million years later I got uptight
That's when I learned to walk upright
I found out walking was way too slow
Jumped on a dinosaur, don't you know
I jumped on him with a single bound
He ran and bucked as we fought a round
We bit and scratched and we played rough
But this old caveman was just too tough
Spent all day riding on my mighty steed
Fun it was but missing something indeed
A companion surely would do me no harm
With a curvy body full of feminine charm
About now I found a cavewoman bride
This beauty took my roughness in stride
Consented to cook and to share my abode
She came along with me, together we rode
Up out of the depths of the primordal bog
So come back again and read on my blog
The next episode of my silly epilogue