GOOSE GONE WILD

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater
Said I need  more meat or
More nutritious food you see,
Pumpkin alone is killing me
His wife inside the pumpkin shell,
Cooked his steak as rare as hell
Now inside the pumpkin shell,
very happily they both dwell

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
She was just resting her fat butt
And if it wasn't for the spider
That  sat down beside her
She'd still be stuffing her gut

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
He got pushed, he didn't fall
All of the kings horses and
And all of the kings men
tried to find who pushed him
King ordered a full time guard,
Found Miss Muffet with the lard
No matter how much Humpty begs
Miss Muffet's still determined
To have some scrambled eggs

The Queen of Hearts
She made some tarts
For Humpty Dumpty and all
The Knave of Hearts
He stole the tarts
And pushed him off the wall
All the kings horses
And all the kings men
Tried to catch the Knave then
But he rode the cow
That jumped over the moon
And the Knave escaped again