ONE SQUARE WIPING INSTRUCTIONS

    Way back when I was a rather small child
of about six or seven years old, one of the
funniest memories I have of my Father is this
story he told of the time when he was a guard
in a prison.

    The warden had rationed the inmates on how
many rolls of toilet paper they could be issued
because he said they had been wasting it and
using too much. Because of cut backs in the
budget there was a shortage in the supplies.

    Now the inmates were all complaining they
were running out and needed more. They said it
was a necessity that they couldn't do without.
Morale began to drop and tempers flared in the
cell blocks.

    The warden had a pretty good sense of humor
and in order to keep matters under control and
ease some of the tension until the next shipment
arrived he pulled this prank on the prisoners.

    The warden went to the prison print shop
had this notice printed and then distributed
to each cell in the prison.

    Until further notice all inmates, guards
and prison personnell will be required to use
less toilet paper.


ONE SQUARE WIPING INSTRUCTIONS

1--Remove one square of TP from roll

2--Fold the square in half

3--Fold that in half again making a smaller square

4--Tear off a small piece of the folded corner
   and put aside for later

5--Unfold TP square again, you now have a TP square
   with a hole in the middle

6--Insert index finger in the hole and smooth out
   square

7--with a smooth continuous motion wipe butt with
   index finger

8--Clean finger as you remove finger from hole

9--Now use the small piece you put aside to clean
   under fingernail

10--Place both pieces of TP in toilet and flush

THANK YOU!!! Your Warden appreciates your cooperation
on this matter.